From Frustration to Fulfilment

My 19-year-old daughter recently pointed out that I’ll likely be supporting her – and our foster child – until they’re at least 25. Part of me thought, Noooo! Society says parenting ends at 18, when they complete education. But, she wants to stay with me for longer.

Remembering the Struggles: Two Years Ago

Two years ago, life looked very different. My son was 19 and preparing to move out. He had the opportunity to move into a flat share with other students who needed a fourth person.

At that time, I had my two children and a foster child. At that time I was stressed, overwhelmed and angry. I was cross that all three teenagers were lazy and not helping around the house. I would get quite worked up about it all at times and occasionally lose my temper. I was getting fed up with it all and wanting my son to move out, but never voiced this opinion.

The Turning Point: Coaching and Self-Reflection

So what changed? I started working with a transformational coach and reading self-help books. With the wisdom and support from trained professionals, I recognised where I was going wrong. I learnt to let go and accept that being good enough is fine. The coach helped me to concentrate on my thoughts and actions: I learnt how the teenage brain works.

Seeing Through Their Eyes

I needed to see the world and see the mess from their perspective. It was not messy, it was the lived in look. They would tidy it up, eventually. It was such an insightful moment recognising to view the world from a different viewpoint. I tried to think back to when I was younger and not bothered by mess.

I gave up the battle and got cleaners in.

Two years ago, I was upset, irritable, angry- getting miserable that my house was not perfectly clean all the time. With the support of a wonderful coach, I am a calmer and happier person.

Two years ago, I was secretly pleased my son moved out. I do miss him and at times feel guilty about how I behaved at the time. I wish I could have been nicer and more understanding at the time.

Now, I have two children who want to stay with me.

Healing Relationships Through Self-Compassion

Thanks to the wisdom of a coach, I have changed. I am a happier, calmer person and more relaxed.

That is the secret of my success. I let go of being perfect, I accepted being a good enough parent and house keeper is all that I need to be.

And now I have a better relationship with my children who want to stay with me for the foreseeable future.

The Secret to My Success? Letting Go.

Someone suggested I stop being so nice, but I like their company and smiles!

I do not want the children to leave home for the foreseeable future. I have learnt to let go and I am a happy and calm person that these young people want to be with.

So learn from my mistakes and get the support from a coach. Your life can also be wonderful again.

Want the Same Calm and Clarity?

Change starts with support. If you’re overwhelmed, let’s talk. Coaching helped me transform—and it can help you too.
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